Nouwens Collection of Classics

Nouwens You Are The Beloved is a collection of his writings. This book is meant to be a devotional but for time sake and for review purposes I read it as a regular book. Many deep thoughts but at times it was a bit hard for me to get into but then I went through November and December to read accordingly with the time of year and I read it non stop. Quite a few passages I high lighted and went back to so I could read it again. I've read a few of his writings and would highly recommend this to those who are familiar with  Nouwens works or perhaps reading his works for the first time.

Waterfall Whispers- How to Hear the Voice of God, Mark Batterson

     As the song goes He is still speaking we are just not listening. In the Whisper Batterson urgently reminds us to heed the voice of God but to do so always be listening. Because He indeed is speaking. And personally I have wander from the concept, the doing, of putting such into practice. To truly live out words Ive prayed again and again "to give me ears to hear, eyes to see and a heart that would follow." God who sent His son to die for us expresses His desire of a relationship where we hear Him and move in Him. In not expecting we are hiding from where as Batterson points out we need to hide in Him. And just as important I believe is to pass this on to our children. That God is literally breathing through and speaking to us.  My prayer is to hear his whisper like a waterfall and to run towards Him. And Batterson gives a reminder towards the end of the book no matter what in life, "dont let whats wrong with you keep you from worshiping whats right with God" Once again a very good read from Mark Batterson.

Steve Jobs Last Words..

When I read Jobs last words it gives meaning to the words "Beautiful Ache" Rich &  Poor alike, most of us forget what life is really about and how fragile life and love is...

The last words of Steve Jobs -

I have come to the pinnacle of success in business.

In the eyes of others, my life has been the symbol of success.

However, apart from work, I have little joy. Finally, my wealth is simply a fact to which I am accustomed.

At this time, lying on the hospital bed and remembering all my life, I realize that all the accolades and riches of which I was once so proud, have become insignificant with my imminent death.

In the dark, when I look at green lights, of the equipment for artificial respiration and feel the buzz of their mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of my approaching death looming over me.

Only now do I understand that once you accumulate enough money for the rest of your life, you have to pursue objectives that are not related to wealth.

It should be something more important:

For example, stories of love, art, dreams of my childhood.

No, stop pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me.

God has made us one way, we can feel the love in the heart of each of us, and not illusions built by fame or money, like I made in my life, I cannot take them with me.

I can only take with me the memories that were strengthened by love.

This is the true wealth that will follow you; will accompany you, he will give strength and light to go ahead.

Love can travel thousands of miles and so life has no limits. Move to where you want to go. Strive to reach the goals you want to achieve. Everything is in your heart and in your hands.

What is the world's most expensive bed? The hospital bed.

You, if you have money, you can hire someone to drive your car, but you cannot hire someone to take your illness that is killing you.

Material things lost can be found. But one thing you can never find when you lose: life.

Whatever stage of life where we are right now, at the end we will have to face the day when the curtain falls.

Please treasure your family love, love for your spouse, love for your friends...

Treat everyone well and stay friendly with your neighbors.

Be A Wave Walker

This past Sunday at NorthStar church we were privileged to have guest speaker JoyAnna McBride share with us. Her message was from Matthew 14:22-33 where we read the story about Peter walking on the water. Here we see Jesus send his disciples out into the boat while Jesus sent the rest of the people home. After sending the crowd home Jesus went up into the hills by himself to pray. Now I imagine that with Jesus being up on a hill he could see the storm coming and knew that the boat wouldn't be able to handle the storm that was was on it's way. Jesus wasn't concerned over the boat, but instead the hearts of the men in the boat. As Jesus makes his was across the stormy waves walking on the water, his disciples think that he is a ghost, but he tells them it is not a ghost but that it is he and tells them to take courage for he is there. So peter still doubting says "Lord if it is really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water." Pay attention here.....Jesus tells him to COME.

He doesn't say "hey wait a sec and let me calm these waves down first. or wait a sec Peter let me just come to you it will be easier." No Jesus just simply says "come" and Peter saw that being in the boat without Jesus was more dangerous than being in the stormy waves with Jesus. As long as Peter kept his focus and attention on Jesus he kept afloat, but as soon as he noticed the storm that was still around him he started to sink. Jesus let Peter sink, but didn't let him drown. That's very important. After they made their way back to the boat, it is then the winds calmed down and the disciples worshiped saying "You really are the Son of God!" The disciples were able to worship not only because Jesus walked on water and calmed the storm, but worshiped because Peter was willing to walk the storm with Jesus so Jesus could show his power when saving Peter.

So when people see you/me going through a storm are they able to worship and draw near to God because you let Him navigate your way through the waves of life? Or do they see us drowning without asking the Lord for help? Are we stuck in the boat during the storms wondering if it truly is safer with Jesus, or are you asking Jesus to make you a water walker? Storms will come, that is a promise. Some storms come because of stupid decisions on our part, some come because of the sinful world we live in, and others come to teach us a lesson. Sometimes comfortable seasons in life make us lazy and not rely on God. So I pray the next time a storm comes your way, ask Jesus to make you a water walker. Take the step of faith to get out of the boat, keep your focus on Jesus and let Him walk you across the waters.-Adie

Steve Jobs Last Words...

When I read Jobs last words it gives meaning to the words "Beautiful Ache" Rich & Poor alike, most of us forget what life is really about and how fragile life and love is... 

The last words of Steve Jobs -

I have come to the pinnacle of success in business.

In the eyes of others, my life has been the symbol of success.

However, apart from work, I have little joy. Finally, my wealth is simply a fact to which I am accustomed.

At this time, lying on the hospital bed and remembering all my life, I realize that all the accolades and riches of which I was once so proud, have become insignificant with my imminent death.

In the dark, when I look at green lights, of the equipment for artificial respiration and feel the buzz of their mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of my approaching death looming over me.

Only now do I understand that once you accumulate enough money for the rest of your life, you have to pursue objectives that are not related to wealth.

It should be something more important:

For example, stories of love, art, dreams of my childhood.

No, stop pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me.

God has made us one way, we can feel the love in the heart of each of us, and not illusions built by fame or money, like I made in my life, I cannot take them with me.

I can only take with me the memories that were strengthened by love.

This is the true wealth that will follow you; will accompany you, he will give strength and light to go ahead.

Love can travel thousands of miles and so life has no limits. Move to where you want to go. Strive to reach the goals you want to achieve. Everything is in your heart and in your hands.

What is the world's most expensive bed? The hospital bed.

You, if you have money, you can hire someone to drive your car, but you cannot hire someone to take your illness that is killing you.

Material things lost can be found. But one thing you can never find when you lose: life.

Whatever stage of life where we are right now, at the end we will have to face the day when the curtain falls.

Please treasure your family love, love for your spouse, love for your friends...

Treat everyone well and stay friendly with your neighbours.

Loves Like a Hurricane..

smile emotico

I pray that if you have jealousy in your life, let it go. Give it over to God and let Him know that you love Him and let Him teach you what it looks like to have a holy jealousy. Jealousy if rooted in flesh will rip you apart and tear apart your relationships. Let God show you how much you are worth.Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame (Song of Songs 8:6, NIV).

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame (Song of Songs 8:6, NIV).

God is a jealous God.

The root idea in the Old Testament word jealous is to become intensely red, referring to the way our face changes color with rising emotion when something or someone very dear to us is threatened. Both the Old and New Testament words for jealousy are translated “zeal.”

The definition for zealous is: fervent, dedicated, passionate, or devoted.

In other words, being jealous and being zealous is basically the same thing in the Bible. God is zealous – eager about protecting what is precious to Him. It’s the kind of jealousy that compels God to relentlessly pursue each one of us, no matter how we try to evade Him with our indifferent attitude or our propensity for sin.

I let jealousy take me over sometimes and no it's not the good kind described in the Bible. My jealousy is one that almost ripped apart my marriage in the early years. I was so afraid that if Buck went somewhere without me, even with guy friends that I was missing something, that maybe he wouldn't come back, that he would see that being married wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I saw myself very replaceable and didn't know why anyone would really want to stick around when the going got tough. I was passionate about my marriage and devoted, but in the wrong way. My jealousy didn't have trust in it. My jealousy was of flesh not of God. Something else that is bad about this story is that all of this came to the surface while we were away on missionary training...bad timing huh? Here we are supposed to be all "Godly" setting the example of what it means to have a Godly marriage and "going out into all the world to tell others about Christ," and I'm here yelling, having fits over my husband having "one on one" time with his leader at this training. Listen folks this was bad...I even was so mad that I told him I would pack my bags and be waiting at the courthouse when he got home (side note we are in Alberta Canada at this time). Long story short a teacher that we had at the time was a life changer for us and our marriage. The Lord gave him insight onto what was going on and called us in to talk with us and really helped me work through some very deep rooted problems in my heart.

So what is the point of all of this? Do I still get jealous at times? Oh yeah....I get jealous with Buck, with my friendships, etc. Does it still cause arguments? Yeah, but now I see it and I have a choice to make, do I want to dwell on it and let it rip me apart along with my relationships, or do I wanna grow and realize that God has me?

God is a jealous God, but His jealousy is Holy. He fights for us. But in that fighting for us He makes us feel loved, accepted, and worth the fight. He is so jealous for us that He died for us, and in that dying He was still pursuing people when He told the Father to forgive the people that were hanging Him on the cross because they knew not what they were doing, and also told the thief on the cross that He would see him in paradise.

So that is my little confession for the day.  I pray that if you have jealousy in your life, let it go. Give it over to God and let Him know that you love Him and let Him teach you what it looks like to have a holy jealousy. Jealousy if rooted in flesh will rip you apart and tear apart your relationships. Let God show you how much you are worth.

MY Precious Etch-a-Sketch

      Always wanting more and more is never enough. Nothing makes us want something more than your neighbor, family or friend getting something new. A car, house, phone laptop. Admit it soon as you see the latest greatest laptop or ipad you look down at yours and realize you are now a proud of owner of a Etch a Sketch. Some of us get so consume by our wants its like "Smeagol" now is living through us "my precious". But like with him many times once we get something we have wanted so long we wish to be free of it. I know its not just me with the "case of the wants" from a 7 course meal at Golden Corral  when its about 2am (why is legal to show restaurant commercial after hours) to seeing others having things or going on vacations.

The Word clearly states our problem
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

I would like to think, believe that I just want to be content with my walk with God. And if anything just give me Wisdom to live my days as Solomon requested. But again that thought doesn't hold water when a want is before me, not a need but a want. These wants are usually enjoyed for a period of time like a child with a Christmas toy. I will soon be "needing another want". And as for the state of contentment, that changes monthly if not weekly when bills come our way or the billion dollar lottery is advertised and you realize you have a better chance of finding Bigfoot in your backyard. But hey maybe God is going to grace you this one time with this "jackpot"

And of course we promise to use the majority of the winnings to make the world a better place. And use the money wisely. Sure we may suck at it now and be in debt and spend more on self than others but that will change when we have millions (See: sarcasm). Just a note to self: God does indeed bless us and that is to be a blessing to others.
So this issue comes more alive to me during the holiday season when we turn Thanksgiving day into a brawl for a new TV or toy. And for my wife and I we have a sons birthday to celebrate just a week before Christmas. We have discuss how to go about this and one suggestion was to buy for him only on his birthday and very little or nothing on Christmas so he can be taught the real reason for Christmas and buy for others who have little or nothing. The problem with that is between family and friends he may get "everything and then some" for his birthday and he wouldn't even realize he didn't get gifts for Christmas.                                               
God this is a struggle for most of us and it shouldn't be. You indeed have place before us an offering of the most precious gift in the world. And yet whenever we find ourselves wanting more its saying that Your gift does not satisfy. This time of year may our hearts truly look to you and may others see in us the contentment that this world could never offer but found only
Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches,but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. - Proverbs 30:7-9

EUCHARISTEO

Happy Thanksgiving. Yea I know its about a week late  but just like with other Holidays why do we keep it to just one day where we actually take a moment or two to reflect and really, truly give thanks. I knew it had been a while since I last blogged but didnt realize its been this long and that my last entry was about "giving Thanks". As I wrote in March I have much (Much) to be thankful for but I would say my lips have uttered complaints, worries and futile, foolish words to the wind more so then encouraging, laughter,hope, giving thanks.
      Recently a video by Ann VosKamp was brought to my attention. She shares where a friend challenged her to see if she could list a 1,000 things to be thankful for and she offers back that she could not stop at just a 1,000. As I listen to her I was thinking surely she has been through some very harsh things in life or else this would just be too "cheesy" for me. And indeed she does share that she saw the death of her younger sister happen right before her eyes, said goodbye to her mom as she was locked away in a pysch ward, cut herself because she just wanted to bleed out of her own skin. captive by panic attacks and has agoraphobia a fear of being in places where it is hard to escape, or where help might not be available and she reveals "its been my own skin difficult to escape" (I love those words as it reflects what many if not all of us struggles with as well).
      Its not that bad things don't happen to me and so much more bad happens to others around me. And I wish it wasn't so. I don't deny such happens but at the same time I don't want to get caught up in it. Because I know I have been blessed. And I tend to forget that and I let the things of the world take me away. I'm blessed to have my family. A wife and son that are beyond my expectations and dreams. Blessed to live in the USA where as a family we have been blessed that we may bless others. Family, Friends,Health,Shelter,Mission Trips, Vacations...the list goes on and on. And I didn't plan for this to be a repeat from March but more of reminder for me and you the reader to focus on giving Thanks. Thanks to God and also those around you. There is a lot to be thankful for.
     EUCHARISTEO-to give Thanks. A life that would focus on Thankfulness.Again this is reminding me that I need to put words into practice that they would become my ways. There is a saying Believers throw out there "Life isn't fair but God is good". I say throw out there because in all honesty we tend to use cliche sayings to explain things away that simply put cannot be explained away. But for me in the same breathe I wish things such as cancer didn't exist and we lived in a world of praise reports. I also know my life reflects Grace for there are people, things in my life that I have despite things I have done, despite being who I was and who I am. And for that and so much more I am Thankful. Now as I go and see if I can come up with a 100 and along the way go for the thousand.  I will close with these words from Ann VosKamp.
"In silent times Seek God in painful times Praise God in Terrible Times Trust God and at all times (at all times ) Thank God"

"Give Thanks to the Lord for His Love endures Forever".. 2 Chron. 20:21 

The GOSPEL

Have you ever wondered what the Gospel really is? Have you ever clearly defined what it means? In the next 5 minutes, artist Propaganda breaks it down into 6 easy words...

G...God

O...our

S...sins

P...paying

E...everyone

L...life

Boogie Man...

As a kid growing up I don’t recall ever believing in any form of the “boogie man”. The ironic thing is 40 plus years later I started considering there just might be one. And no influence whatsoever from my 2 year old son. First the boogie man enter my mind just a little, like one foot in the door then my mind was no longer for rent for the boogie man was alive and “not so well” in my mind. I was diagnosed with skin cancer and there were several spots on my body. And Immediately I went from thinking bad to worst. Ironic thing is when somebody shares a concern or prayer request with me most times I am thinking, I actually believe good will come from it, Miracle will take place. I recently heard Andy Stanley said when a friend is in need we simply say we will pray for them. But when its ourselves in need we usually pull out the “not fair” card to God. There is selfishness in that one, indeed.
So anyway the thoughts went to skin cancer to the “what ifs” and from there the battle was on Believing in Gods Healing touch and then giving in to Im not ready to go in that I want to be here for my son and wife. Again Im just blogging my thoughts I know thousands go through this every day the sun rises and sets. But with all my prayers there were so many people that had me in their thoughts and prayers.
During this time we had a local concert. And well everything seem to be going wrong with the concert but in my running back and forth I met a friend outside which led to “counsel” with a beautiful ache and after the concert I talked to a band member about what’s going on and he said he wanted the whole band to pray for me which led to the members sharing struggles for them as well and for me to Believe and trust that the next time they saw me it would be nothing but Good news of Gods healing/sustaining hand. So a year or so later I continue to get treatment off and on for the skin cancer. A few months later I went to get my first physical in years(i mean years) and the results came back good/perfect ( i was in awe to say the least) but I was stil having this pain and ultimately this boogie man led to gall bladder surgery. So the "worries" have let up a good bit and far less of a struggle. And as Rich Mullins penned I know I am not as strong as I think I am…But through it all even in the midst of a world of doubt I still believe for there is nowhere, no one else to turn to but the Creator and lover of my soul. Through it all He is much bigger than any boogie man and the only one who can get pass these walls of " self". Along this journey when I was wondering what was going on with my health I told a friend of mine I wanted to be here for Noah. His simple reply was "You are here now".. True very true, make the most of the day we are given, its a gift of time that can only be used once and may we use it wisely and be bless that we would be a blessing to those around us.

All roads lead to God

I recently heard Greg Laurie speaking and he said that he agrees with the saying "All Roads Lead to God"..following Laurie for years I knew he wasnt going "off the mark" with this statement But I did wonder what he meant since most people do seem to believe all roads lead to God and/or the same "ending" So after listening to the message I found his writing on this subject as well. What follows is a writing by Greg Laurie on "All Roads Lead to God"...

I just had a physical with my doctor. Thankfully, everything is looking good.
After we were done, I asked him a question: "Have you ever had to tell someone that they were going to die soon?" He told me that he had; he said it was the hardest thing he did as a physician. But in most cases, he would detect a problem and give them a course of action that, if followed, would save their life.
As a pastor, I am in a similar situation, but with even more radical implications. Because I believe the Bible is true, I know both the problem and the cure to what happens beyond the grave.
It is said by some, "All roads lead to God." You may be surprised to know that I happen to agree with that. I did not say all roads lead to heaven, but that all roads lead to God. Regardless of what you may or may not believe, I do think you will stand before God one day. But there is only one way to get to heaven. And that is the one issue that more people choke on than any other.
It is said, "Are you saying Jesus Christ is the only way, and that if someone doesn't believe in Him they're actually going to hell? That's so narrow! So insensitive! So intolerant!" By insisting that Jesus is the only way to approach God, I may sound to certain people like I'm implying I'm somehow better than they are, or that I look down on them in some way. But I want you to know that I have a very good reason for believing that Jesus Christ is the only way to the Father. I believe it because He said so. It isn't my theory; it isn't my idea; it is His! It was Jesus who clearly stated, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me" (John 14:6 NKJV). How plain is that?
The bottom line is that we're either going to believe everything Jesus said or nothing that He said. As for me, I choose to put my faith and trust in Him – for my years here on earth and for my eternity.
In Acts 4:12, the apostle Peter declared, "Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (NKJV). Paul told Timothy, "For there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and people. He is the man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5 NLT). If I claim to be His follower and believe His words, then I would be less than honest if I said anything but this. As a Christian, I am in no way better or superior to anyone else. I'm just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.
Maybe you've had someone say to you, "Well, all religions basically say and teach the same thing. They're all true. And besides, if a person is really sincere in what they believe, they'll get to heaven." This type of fuzzy, illogical, politically correct thinking is typical of so many today – making the most important decisions of life on the basis of feelings and opinions.
Let's take this line of reasoning to its logical conclusion. If a person truly is sincere in what he believes and tries to live a good life, then he will get to heaven. So Adolf Hitler is in heaven, right? He sincerely believed what he was doing was right. He had a sincere view of racial supremacy and thought it was right to exterminate the Jewish people.
It also appears that Osama bin Laden is sincere in thinking Allah wanted him to kill 3,000 people. He was honest and genuine about his belief that every American man, woman and child are infidels deserving death. So, why wouldn't he end up in some kind of paradise?
"No!" you protest. "He is not good!" Really? According to whose definition? Yours? Mine? The person next door? Is it determined by consensus? Why is it wrong to lie, steal and murder? As much as we hate to admit it, it's because God said it is wrong in the Ten Commandments, among other places. This is why sincerity is never enough. We have to have a set of absolutes to live by. We can't simply make up the rules as we go along. You may want to believe that "all roads lead to God." You may really and sincerely hope that every religion is basically true and that they somehow all blend beautifully together.
The great world religions do not all teach the same thing. And I say that with respect for all people to believe what they choose to believe. We don't need to vilify, threaten or attack one another. We need a civil discourse, and we need to agree to disagree. But on the other hand, let's not foolishly say every religion is teaching the same thing, because they are not. For instance, take these three truths into consideration:
1.Concerning the existence of a personal God. Buddhists deny it altogether. Hindus believe that God is formless and abstract, taking the form of a trinity as well as millions of lesser gods. In direct contrast, the Bible teaches that God is a personal deity, who created man in His own image, loves us and wants to have a relationship with us.
2.Concerning salvation. Buddhists believe salvation comes by self-effort alone – with no personal God to help or guide you. Hindus believe you achieve salvation by devotion, works and self-control. Muslims insist that man earns his own salvation, pays for his own sins, and that you can never be certain if you have achieved salvation or not. In stark contrast, the Bible teaches that Jesus Christ died for our sins, and if we will turn from our own way and follow Him, we can be forgiven and have the hope of heaven.
3.Concerning Jesus Christ. Buddhists believe Jesus was a good teacher, but less important than Buddha. Hindus believe Jesus was just one of many incarnations, or sons of God. They teach that Christ was not the one-and-only Son of God. He was no more divine than any other man, and He did not die for man's sins. Muslims will tell you that Jesus Christ was only a man, a prophet equal to Adam, Noah or Abraham, all of whom are below Muhammad in importance.
Do you see my point? It doesn't work to believe in all of the above. The tenets of these religions directly contradict one another. They cannot all be true. These belief systems are diverse and contradictory. In reality, they have little to nothing in common.
Jesus claimed to be the only way to the Father. It is not enough to admire Him or think of Him as a "great moral teacher." We must examine His unique claims and make a decision concerning Him.
C. S. Lewis, the great Christian thinker and author of "The Chronicles of Narnia," said, "A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg – or else he would be the Devil of Hell. ... You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to" ("Mere Christianity," 52).
Make your decision about what you believe, based on the facts, not on your feelings.

I've Made a Mess...

The only thing worst than making a mess is not realizing just how big of a mess you have made. And that thought comes to me quite often. Its the struggle with this thing called shame even in the beauty of His grace and mercy. My shadows quite often seem to be pride and pity, subtle bullies from hell. First theres a struggle which leads to a strangle. In my 40 plus years I cant believe the Mess ups I have accomplished, I say accomplish because God knows I went out of my way to do the very thing that hurts the One who loves me the most.Okay we say in getting older we are all the more wiser(see here comes that pride..) but in my proneness to wander I have lost something perhaps best describe as Innocence. From a song "Innocence lost" the lyrics speak of this;
"Milton lost his paradise, Dorothy lost her way
Vincent lost his sanity, Thomas lost his faith
Hoover lost the second time, Sigmund lost his friend
Me, I lost my innocence and I want it back again. "
From the smallest of wrongdoing to the biggest (and not sure how we measure this thing called sin out as if God really does have a top 10 sin list and the rest are "not as bad") I wonder whats wrong with me? Why did I say that, why did I do that? The thought would be bad enough but to carry out sin mixed with stupidity with no regard to who I will answer to in the end(and Now) and how whenever we make this Mess it doesnt just affect us, No it wipes so many others out. Like the ripple effect of a rock hitting the water. And yet this Mess is in all of us ever since Adam. Just look at the words from 1758 (a few yrs ago)
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above. (Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing)
Prone to wander and leave the God I LOVE. And Thank God He does come after us. He did before, during and (even still) after the Cross. Takes us and seals us. There is no other remedy for this Mess but to be covered by His love and my life in His hands not the other way around. I'll close with the words from Switchfoot "Mess of Me" which sums it all up perfectly...

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
There ain´t no cure they could sell
Ah, there ain´t no drug to make me well
There ain´t no drug
The sickness is myself

I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!

We lock our souls in cages
We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to free the ones you love
Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!

I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!

What about you? What is Your Mess(I will give you a hint look in the mirror)? We all have them but we are NOT one. Despite the circumstances and consquences you are not what you do. You were simply and wonderfully created to become a child of the Creator and have eternal daily relationship with Him. Pause for a moment and lets start over again by giving Him this thing we call a mess and truly live the rest of your life alive.

Either Way (God is God, Cancer is a beast)

Okay so in the last 3 weeks I've mixed delay with procrastination. I guess I could blame the computer crash for lack of writing but not sure if that would matter. If you like to write then theres always something to write about (much like if you like to read, theres always something worth reading) Well anyway as I previously mentioned I was diagnosed with skin cancer in at least 4 locations. And honestly when I heard the word cancer my first thought wasn't "All right" or "I will get through this with Gods Help." But more like I only wanted to know if it was life threatening. As a friend of my shared in a email with me "you are in my prayers, cancer is a beast." So the beast and my mind messed with me quite well. For the next 2 weeks I had a few meltdowns (and two of them being in a very public place) my thoughts were not being here to see my son grow up and also simply dying and meeting my Creator. Its ironic how most of us seem know we will die but we "know" it just wont be today. What I'm trying to say is we take so much for granted. I know in waiting to hearing from the doctor I was praying, hoping, crying and making promises to God. But with those promises I did state the obvious that no matter what (if He does answer this prayer or doesn't..) He is God. And man I have been so blessed with the family,friends, things I have and experiences in mission work God has allowed me be part of throughout the years.
And with that now onto my skin cancer. Yes I can now confirm even not so good looking guys are quite concern with their looks. I thought a pinhole area on my nose was bad but after having surgery and a area the size of a nickel scraped and removed hey the pinhole wasn't so bad. I have been told at least a month until the healing is back to somewhat normal. And at the moment still a spot or two to be burned off. I guess its a good time to mention that the doctor told me I was one centimeter off(concerning spot on the nose) from worst case scenario in recovery. I'll admit before the surgery it seem surreal to me I was thinking nah I don't have cancer, not me. It made me think about our return trip from Kenya the plane just suddenly dropped and that when a few seconds does indeed seem like a lifetime. A older married coupled reach across the aisle and held each others hands. A young lady in the back of the plane started screaming we are going down, going down. we are going to die! My wife and I just looked at each other and I thought No it cant be like this(as in I read the script and it doesn't end like this) But it could be..I hope and pray my wife and I live a long good life and that we are blessed so we can bless others. But either way God is still God...

I can try to beg You off or bring it on
Let it rain, let it shine
Either way, it don't matter to me
'Cause I know that You're still God and I'm still not
Call it six, half a dozen
Either way, it don't matter to me

There's some who say to me
Life is pleasing to the touch
But I think that it could be
That they don't get out so much
They could try to come with us or not
Either way

"Either Way" - Satellite Soul

What Makes Sense?....

Nothing. From the extreme ends of tragedy to the ultimate gifts that comes out of someones love, grace and mercy. None of it makes sense. We learn early on that life isnt fair (to say the least) but that doesnt soften the blow that breaks our heart, brings us to our knees, as tears magnify the pain and we find seclusion and numbness to be our friend and enemy at the same time. When one is mad as hell or doenst care if they dont see a tomorrow. There are no words. Many say on this side of Heaven we dont understand but do you really believe on the other side this would Ever make sense to the heart and mind that is suffocating from their loss. And for those of us who proclaim to be Believers lets STOP coming up with "answers" or even a "message" using someone elses tragedy and for the love of God dont offer 3 simple steps, the "i know how you feel" or other countless cliche sayings to "speak" into someones life, enough already. How about admitting many things dont make sense to us. How about a offering of silence with your words and scream with your action in just being there for a world that is hurting.

Balance Beam (Life)

Short message to the point. Its amazing to me all the tragedy Chan has been through and with that I would say he has every "right" to hug the balance beam of life. Whoever sees this please tell others to check out this video. Thanks!

HELP Section: "Comment Box"

Okay so We do happen to have one new "commenter" who just happens to be a "marketing guru" for the bailout. Ah Yes just what I was looking for. But this is just a little note perhaps from the HELP section for those out there that say I tried to comment but didn't know how to do it? In the words of Doug (king of queens) "Seriously!" You have made it this far 1. You turned the computer on (Or perhaps kept it on since you plugged it in and have ever since been praying for no power outage) 2. You found this specific website so you can right & left click 3. Perhaps you are even now googling aka searching. So ALL you need to do is click comment then submit and we have "liftoff" Yes I would like to see a a "group" of people commenting and exchanging ideas here, call it blogger envy, call it "online fellowship" call it whatever you want I just think its one of the better ways to use online. By the way do people still go to chat rooms? I remember chat rooms before Yahoo,MSN,AIM,IM,etc..Then theres myspace then came facebook (a millionaire from getting people to add their faces to the concept of myspace, seriously? Im sure the anatomy online book wont stop there) I believe our talk on the bowel problems had more comments than prayer concerns, Interesting? And for some I know who read this are thinking they have nothing to say? But Please, everyone always have something to say. If nothing else consider this a slow chat room and leave a comment as you leave the (cyber) door on your way out.