Boogie Man...

As a kid growing up I don’t recall ever believing in any form of the “boogie man”. The ironic thing is 40 plus years later I started considering there just might be one. And no influence whatsoever from my 2 year old son. First the boogie man enter my mind just a little, like one foot in the door then my mind was no longer for rent for the boogie man was alive and “not so well” in my mind. I was diagnosed with skin cancer and there were several spots on my body. And Immediately I went from thinking bad to worst. Ironic thing is when somebody shares a concern or prayer request with me most times I am thinking, I actually believe good will come from it, Miracle will take place. I recently heard Andy Stanley said when a friend is in need we simply say we will pray for them. But when its ourselves in need we usually pull out the “not fair” card to God. There is selfishness in that one, indeed.
So anyway the thoughts went to skin cancer to the “what ifs” and from there the battle was on Believing in Gods Healing touch and then giving in to Im not ready to go in that I want to be here for my son and wife. Again Im just blogging my thoughts I know thousands go through this every day the sun rises and sets. But with all my prayers there were so many people that had me in their thoughts and prayers.
During this time we had a local concert. And well everything seem to be going wrong with the concert but in my running back and forth I met a friend outside which led to “counsel” with a beautiful ache and after the concert I talked to a band member about what’s going on and he said he wanted the whole band to pray for me which led to the members sharing struggles for them as well and for me to Believe and trust that the next time they saw me it would be nothing but Good news of Gods healing/sustaining hand. So a year or so later I continue to get treatment off and on for the skin cancer. A few months later I went to get my first physical in years(i mean years) and the results came back good/perfect ( i was in awe to say the least) but I was stil having this pain and ultimately this boogie man led to gall bladder surgery. So the "worries" have let up a good bit and far less of a struggle. And as Rich Mullins penned I know I am not as strong as I think I am…But through it all even in the midst of a world of doubt I still believe for there is nowhere, no one else to turn to but the Creator and lover of my soul. Through it all He is much bigger than any boogie man and the only one who can get pass these walls of " self". Along this journey when I was wondering what was going on with my health I told a friend of mine I wanted to be here for Noah. His simple reply was "You are here now".. True very true, make the most of the day we are given, its a gift of time that can only be used once and may we use it wisely and be bless that we would be a blessing to those around us.

12 in 90 welcome back post

Even though I know I tend to procrastinate with the best of them. I could not believe that I haven't posted since January. So the new goal is 12 (count 'em 12) post in the next 90 days (a thank you tip from John Acuff) In the beginning of the year I was dealing with skin cancer and though several spots found there way on me. Through treatment and a little surgery all is good. Then about a month ago I started to feel really bad and confess to my wife that hey after the "cancer scare" I'm a wimp..so with that I gave in and had a full physical done (for those who know me that may be equivalent of skydiving with a backpack) and over 40 things was checked and all came back good/clear. Here's where I pause again to thank the Lord because I had more than doubts that there would be a few things not so good.
So although the good news the pain continue and actually through chatting with a person while playing online scrabble it was brought to my attention what was wrong with me-gallbladder..Yea never thought of getting a free diagnosis while trying to spell a 7 letter word. And so in the months of writing nothing I have struggle at times only to realize physically nothing is wrong with me but I dwell on the "little" and at times it consumed me. wavering and wandering...I easily wavered from drawing close to the One who loves me most. sickness,hardship,tragedies do not change us on their own. It remains us as the individual who must make the change and self will never do such on its own. And with these health issues/concerns I still am learning(and lacking) to make the most of my time. I mean its one thing to enjoy things but its completely another to get consume by them..meanwhile the dye test confirms my gallbladder needs to go.. so within the next month so I will be laid up for a few days, perhaps just maybe that will help with the 12 in 90 days...

Either Way (God is God, Cancer is a beast)

Okay so in the last 3 weeks I've mixed delay with procrastination. I guess I could blame the computer crash for lack of writing but not sure if that would matter. If you like to write then theres always something to write about (much like if you like to read, theres always something worth reading) Well anyway as I previously mentioned I was diagnosed with skin cancer in at least 4 locations. And honestly when I heard the word cancer my first thought wasn't "All right" or "I will get through this with Gods Help." But more like I only wanted to know if it was life threatening. As a friend of my shared in a email with me "you are in my prayers, cancer is a beast." So the beast and my mind messed with me quite well. For the next 2 weeks I had a few meltdowns (and two of them being in a very public place) my thoughts were not being here to see my son grow up and also simply dying and meeting my Creator. Its ironic how most of us seem know we will die but we "know" it just wont be today. What I'm trying to say is we take so much for granted. I know in waiting to hearing from the doctor I was praying, hoping, crying and making promises to God. But with those promises I did state the obvious that no matter what (if He does answer this prayer or doesn't..) He is God. And man I have been so blessed with the family,friends, things I have and experiences in mission work God has allowed me be part of throughout the years.
And with that now onto my skin cancer. Yes I can now confirm even not so good looking guys are quite concern with their looks. I thought a pinhole area on my nose was bad but after having surgery and a area the size of a nickel scraped and removed hey the pinhole wasn't so bad. I have been told at least a month until the healing is back to somewhat normal. And at the moment still a spot or two to be burned off. I guess its a good time to mention that the doctor told me I was one centimeter off(concerning spot on the nose) from worst case scenario in recovery. I'll admit before the surgery it seem surreal to me I was thinking nah I don't have cancer, not me. It made me think about our return trip from Kenya the plane just suddenly dropped and that when a few seconds does indeed seem like a lifetime. A older married coupled reach across the aisle and held each others hands. A young lady in the back of the plane started screaming we are going down, going down. we are going to die! My wife and I just looked at each other and I thought No it cant be like this(as in I read the script and it doesn't end like this) But it could be..I hope and pray my wife and I live a long good life and that we are blessed so we can bless others. But either way God is still God...

I can try to beg You off or bring it on
Let it rain, let it shine
Either way, it don't matter to me
'Cause I know that You're still God and I'm still not
Call it six, half a dozen
Either way, it don't matter to me

There's some who say to me
Life is pleasing to the touch
But I think that it could be
That they don't get out so much
They could try to come with us or not
Either way

"Either Way" - Satellite Soul