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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Either Way (God is God, Cancer is a beast)

Okay so in the last 3 weeks I've mixed delay with procrastination. I guess I could blame the computer crash for lack of writing but not sure if that would matter. If you like to write then theres always something to write about (much like if you like to read, theres always something worth reading) Well anyway as I previously mentioned I was diagnosed with skin cancer in at least 4 locations. And honestly when I heard the word cancer my first thought wasn't "All right" or "I will get through this with Gods Help." But more like I only wanted to know if it was life threatening. As a friend of my shared in a email with me "you are in my prayers, cancer is a beast." So the beast and my mind messed with me quite well. For the next 2 weeks I had a few meltdowns (and two of them being in a very public place) my thoughts were not being here to see my son grow up and also simply dying and meeting my Creator. Its ironic how most of us seem know we will die but we "know" it just wont be today. What I'm trying to say is we take so much for granted. I know in waiting to hearing from the doctor I was praying, hoping, crying and making promises to God. But with those promises I did state the obvious that no matter what (if He does answer this prayer or doesn't..) He is God. And man I have been so blessed with the family,friends, things I have and experiences in mission work God has allowed me be part of throughout the years.
And with that now onto my skin cancer. Yes I can now confirm even not so good looking guys are quite concern with their looks. I thought a pinhole area on my nose was bad but after having surgery and a area the size of a nickel scraped and removed hey the pinhole wasn't so bad. I have been told at least a month until the healing is back to somewhat normal. And at the moment still a spot or two to be burned off. I guess its a good time to mention that the doctor told me I was one centimeter off(concerning spot on the nose) from worst case scenario in recovery. I'll admit before the surgery it seem surreal to me I was thinking nah I don't have cancer, not me. It made me think about our return trip from Kenya the plane just suddenly dropped and that when a few seconds does indeed seem like a lifetime. A older married coupled reach across the aisle and held each others hands. A young lady in the back of the plane started screaming we are going down, going down. we are going to die! My wife and I just looked at each other and I thought No it cant be like this(as in I read the script and it doesn't end like this) But it could be..I hope and pray my wife and I live a long good life and that we are blessed so we can bless others. But either way God is still God...

I can try to beg You off or bring it on
Let it rain, let it shine
Either way, it don't matter to me
'Cause I know that You're still God and I'm still not
Call it six, half a dozen
Either way, it don't matter to me

There's some who say to me
Life is pleasing to the touch
But I think that it could be
That they don't get out so much
They could try to come with us or not
Either way

"Either Way" - Satellite Soul
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