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Sunday, May 15, 2011

I've Made a Mess...

The only thing worst than making a mess is not realizing just how big of a mess you have made. And that thought comes to me quite often. Its the struggle with this thing called shame even in the beauty of His grace and mercy. My shadows quite often seem to be pride and pity, subtle bullies from hell. First theres a struggle which leads to a strangle. In my 40 plus years I cant believe the Mess ups I have accomplished, I say accomplish because God knows I went out of my way to do the very thing that hurts the One who loves me the most.Okay we say in getting older we are all the more wiser(see here comes that pride..) but in my proneness to wander I have lost something perhaps best describe as Innocence. From a song "Innocence lost" the lyrics speak of this;
"Milton lost his paradise, Dorothy lost her way
Vincent lost his sanity, Thomas lost his faith
Hoover lost the second time, Sigmund lost his friend
Me, I lost my innocence and I want it back again. "
From the smallest of wrongdoing to the biggest (and not sure how we measure this thing called sin out as if God really does have a top 10 sin list and the rest are "not as bad") I wonder whats wrong with me? Why did I say that, why did I do that? The thought would be bad enough but to carry out sin mixed with stupidity with no regard to who I will answer to in the end(and Now) and how whenever we make this Mess it doesnt just affect us, No it wipes so many others out. Like the ripple effect of a rock hitting the water. And yet this Mess is in all of us ever since Adam. Just look at the words from 1758 (a few yrs ago)
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
(Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing)
Prone to wander and leave the God I LOVE. And Thank God He does come after us. He did before, during and (even still) after the Cross. Takes us and seals us. There is no other remedy for this Mess but to be covered by His love and my life in His hands not the other way around. I'll close with the words from Switchfoot "Mess of Me" which sums it all up perfectly...

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
There ain´t no cure they could sell
Ah, there ain´t no drug to make me well
There ain´t no drug
The sickness is myself

I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!

We lock our souls in cages
We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to free the ones you love
Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!

I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!

What about you? What is Your Mess(I will give you a hint look in the mirror)? We all have them but we are NOT one. Despite the circumstances and consquences you are not what you do. You were simply and wonderfully created to become a child of the Creator and have eternal daily relationship with Him. Pause for a moment and lets start over again by giving Him this thing we call a mess and truly live the rest of your life alive.
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