As I was reading a book Note To Self (no not a note to me that Im reading thats the title) this blog came to mind and so I went to it and realize much is the same 5 years later. In the midst of trying to find others to go to Kenya (or missions.) Im quite caught up in the trivial things, self,etc..
Tuesday, July 1, 2008(I mention it was a repeat)
Wide Awake in the land of Nod
A few of my friends suggested I start posting some of my "ramblings" so lets start the Blogging with 16 days away from our trip to Kenya. But first I just want to "ramble" about life in general. Based on a book she recently read my wife suggested "Beautiful Ache" as the title for the blogs. I was going to use "Live Laugh Love" but I think "die, cry, hate" would have been more eye catching and just as true, as in its all part of life. Life is a Beautiful Ache, we indeed are living in the "Shadowlands." My friend "D" and I ramble via emails about life, from God, religion to music and the best places to eat. There's definitely a beautiful ache in all of us and its all around us but most of us are so caught up in self and the things of the world that we miss out on this thing we call life. I realize there's a slim chance no more than a few actually reading this, but in case this gets a following I know there will be Christians saying "whats wrong with him?' and non believers saying "Wow, now he wonders why Im not a believer?". So let my first blog clarify this one thing: I believe in God aka Jesus Christ. He is the Creator behind this beautiful creation. But His people including myself have the tendency to represent Him about as well as a bad used car salesman or one selling an Encyclopedia set door to door. So in saying that now I can continue to ramble on....I have been on several mission trips and all along volunteer at a local youth center. And in all these years there are those who wonder why we go overseas when there is such need here. And at the same time the need here remains a Need in a land of plenty. Again one doesnt have to go overseas to be a missionary. Matter of fact it seems much easier for local Christians to enter a third world country then to work inside a youth center with aircondition and heat. I still cant figure that one out. Maybe its because we can come back with some cool pics and impress others that "the natives are friendly and we changed the world" That is of course until we have a concert then the bandwagon is filled and people having their spiritual pennants and poms poms to cheer us on. They even say they are on the same team. But they never show up for "another game". And I've said off and on for years Im burned out but NO I now realize its not that its Im just TIRED of people, religion, Self (Yea perhaps even you) to quote my friend.. "I'm tired of church. I'm tired of church politics. I'm tired of religious people getting upset because a man preaching has a tattoo or a piercing. I'm convinced that if Jesus walked in to most churches, no one would recognize Him. The man that they say they strive to be like they would treat like the plague. I'm tired of humanism. We build up self esteem to let the soul die in it's sin. I'd shut myself in a cave if I wasn't afraid of spiders. God has to be God or He can be anything else. If God would open the earth and swallow people, the world would say that God is not a God of love. However, when we declares His love, the church say that God has to judge sin. What do they want? Everything?" I do wish You and I were "wide awake" to know what it means to love Christ and to live every moment cause most of us (including myself) are not fully convinced this could could be our last day and so much of what we give our time to has little eternal value. So 16 days till Kenya then hopefully I can blog daily on our stay there meanwhile any topic by suggestion or burden will be blogged. I will close with the words of C.S. Lewis. "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
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